The last few posts have looked at what generational trauma is and what it looks like, this post is going to look at healing within yourself. I heard this quote about intergenerational trauma that I need to share.
The trauma of the grandmother is the mental illness of the granddaughter.
That is such a powerful quote. You are likely a parent and will likely become a grandparent. What changes you do or don't make now will matter. Don't just settle with the idea that you are destined to live with pain.
It's okay to want and fight for change and trust me; this can rube people the wrong way. Because why would you want to change what has always been? Why is the pain of those before not good enough for you? The reality is it can be built into our families that pain and suffering is normal. It is not.
It's okay to not be perfect and ask for help. A lot of us want to carry our own weight and feel like a burden asking for help. But take a moment to think about it. You did not create this trauma alone, the family, community, government, and country have all played their role. It is unfair to yourself to put that pressure on yourself to heal alone. Asking for help is not a weakness, and in many cases, it can be the decision that changes your life.
It's okay to start with small changes. Small changes you make matter, so fight against the behaviors and thoughts even if your family is not supporting you. I am here to help you. Not everyone will want or understand why you want to changes things, and that is okay. We are all at a different point in our journey. However, I want you to push through. You are worthy, and the next generation that you are fighting for is deserving of better.
Every little thing you chose to do differently is a change for the next generation, and the goal should be for each following generation to do better. It took time to create the level of trauma black families (and many others) live with, and it will take time to heal.
Remember, you have the control, power, and strength to heal from within.
Love Shakirah
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